While I was walking around like a zombie I cried out to God. He answered in a most peculiar way. I started attending the Boston church of Christ, they were a very strict and demanding church that believed in the power of our self instead of the power of god. I was in the church for almost 2 years but suffered greatly because I couldn't stop masturbating. Not long after I met my wife. We met over a telephone date line. We talked for almost 2 weeks before we met and i knew she was the one that i knew I'd marry.

I have not had an easy life. When I got out of jail I met a girl who quickly moved in with me and she was already pregnant with another guys baby. I was loyal and worked as hard as i could for her. We were together for two years and had a child together. The baby was lost to the state because we were young and stupid. She had a drug problem and was cheating on me. I tried my best but the constantly fighting both physical and mental put a drain on our love and ability to raise a child. After the baby was taken away from me I lost my mind and walked the world like a zombie.

This is going to be one of those stupid blogs that no one reads. I just going to be bitching about how bad my life is, and I am sorry for that. First let me tell you about my self, I am a 39 year old married man, with two wonderful sons. Now the part that sucks I just lost my job, I am behind on my mortgage, I haven't paid a credit card in 2 years. My credit score is "denied"! That's the financial side and that isn't special millions of people are in the same boat.
I grew up in a small town outside of Boston. We were very poor, I was the Kmart special kid and was constantly picked on and suffered from a very low self esteem. My parents did their best they could and loved me very much even thou I didn't get it back then. I got my first job as a newspaper boy. One of the guys in the office liked me and after the first year he brought me in to work in the office. He then started showing porn magazines and touching me in sexual ways. I was very confused and allowed him to do this for almost two years. I felt so dirty! I cried myself to sleep thinking I was a homosexual. I later dropped out of school. I never really had a girlfriend and had never gotten laid. I met this girl and quickly had sex with her. Later in the police station i found out that she was only 14 years old, I was 18 and that truly started the downward spiral in my life. I was convicted of statutory rape and served 6 months in jail. I now register every 6 months as a sex offender, something that weighs me down everyday of my life.